Where are you?
In a non slutty way
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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