In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
