Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize