My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
