I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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