And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
