I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
