Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
