youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
