I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
