in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
