Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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