took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
