how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
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