This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
