why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
