Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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