It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
