Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
