He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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