Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
