I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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