her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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