she woke up with a sticky ear
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
They have beer where we have blood.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
