if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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