he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize