I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
