I just cut my nipple shaving
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
We have started to decorate penises.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
