Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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