Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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