My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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