I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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