Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
