watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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