Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
my being single is dangerous.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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