you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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