im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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