i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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