it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
