You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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