Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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