well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
