At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
