I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
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