We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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