Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
