Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
