well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
