actually, I'm a sock model
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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