ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
