The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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