Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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