Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
