She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
