Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
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