wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
