i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
