Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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