A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Randomize
