is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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