Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
