Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
drinking out of a sandbucket again
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
