I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
