love makes seman taste better
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
