hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
