pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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