u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
